


Undercover, but not quite.

by orphan_account



Category: Formula 1 RPF, Rush (2013)
Genre: Fanfiction, Gay Bar, M/M, Undercover Cops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-08-22
Packaged: 2018-02-14 05:05:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2178984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>James and Niki are forced to go undercover with each other at a gay bar. But will they discover what's up? Or each other?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Undercover, but not quite.

“Captain Stewart, you can’t honestly expect me to work with him! He’s so...un-discaplined! I don’t know how he even got on the force!” Niki complained, leaning onto the Captain’s desk. 

“Sergeant Lauda, there is literally no other partner I can give you! You’ve scared everyone else off! Regazzoni, Peterson, Andretti, even Fittapaldi! You are going to do this assignment with Hunt, and if you don’t play nice you’re going to be at your desk for six months!” Captain Stewart pointed at the door. “Now get out there, get your assignment, and go meet with Hunt to plan your course of action.”

Niki turned on his heel and marched out. Not letting the Captain dismiss him. He charged over to his desk, sitting down in the chair heavily, looking at the folder on his desk. He opened it carefully, reading it’s contents. There was a bar in the city that apparently was selling some kind of hard drugs out of it, and they had to go undercover to gather proof. Niki searched the name of the bar, wanting to know the clientele to be able to blend in. He almost fell backward in his chair when he came to the web-page. 

This wasn’t some plain corner bar, this was a club, a gay club, a gay male club. That meant that he and Hunt would have to pretend like...They were dating. Niki put his head down on the desk, not being able to find the energy to repeatedly ram his forehead into it. He had to lift his head though when he heard someone walking up to his desk, and immediately knew who it was. 

“Good afternoon Sergeant Ratty!” James grinned with a fake salute. 

“If you call me that one more time, I swear I will lock you up in prison.” Niki replies, glaring daggers at James. 

“Oh come on! You can’t act like that if we’re going to be dating tonight! We have to be infatuated with each other!”

“Easy for you to say, you can be infatuated with anything you can put your dick in!”

“Well at least things want me to put my dick in them, you probably haven’t gotten laid, ever!” 

“At least I have self respect for my body!”

“HUNT! LAUDA! WILL YOU TWO STOP BICKERING!? GO DOWN TO THE BASEMENT, GET YOUR DISGUISES ON, AND GET YOUR ASSES TO THAT BAR!” Captain Stewart yelled at them. Making James and Niki grumble and go down to the basement which most of the force had nicknamed the “Costume Closet.” James picked booty shorts and a tight t-shirt, worn with ridiculous sandals. Niki put on a fake moustache, that actually looked real, bell-bottom jeans, and a tan turtleneck with a blazer. James laughed at him when he got out of the bathroom after dressing. 

“That moustache makes you look like a porn-star! Or Sergeant Regazzoni!” James laughed.

“Fuck off asshole. Let’s go, my car’s around back.” Niki spat, going down the hall toward the exit. 

“We’re not taking your’s, we’re taking mine!”

“I’m not riding in your tiny Mini Cooper. My car is much bigger, and most likely more reliable.”

“Hm, is that a euphemism I’m sensing? Sergeant Lauda you dirty dog!” 

Niki just huffed and began walking toward what James could only assume was Niki’s car. It was Volvo of all things, and why it was thought to be superior to his Mini. It had a nice interior, although it was all dark grey, with a lot of leather. It was also a “Turbo” apparently. James laughed at him. 

“Nice car Grandpa! We gonna go to the shop after to get your denture cream?” James asked.

“Get in the car or I’m running over your foot. I swear to God I will.” Niki replied from the drivers seat. 

James huffed and got in. The drive was uneventful, not saying anything as they drove along, not even when they pulled into the parking lot. James got out first, quickly lighting up a cigarette. Niki just rolled his eyes, waiting for the blonde to finish. He wasn’t going to start a fight by telling James to hurry up. Finally James stomped out the remainder of the cigarette, and they went out to the front. There wasn’t a line yet as the club had just opened. The bouncer was sitting on a stool looking bored. He looked them up and down before speaking. 

“I need to see your I.D.’s” The bouncer dead-panned. Niki and James handed the bouncer their cover I.D.s, identifying them as “Sebastian Vettel” and “Kimi Raikkonen” crazy names that they had made up. “Alright, head on in, and don’t get too crazy or I’m heaving your asses out.”

James and Niki nodded, heading in. The bar had brick and wooden walls, being quite large inside. There were booths on one wall, and on the wall with the entrance. The bar took up most of the vacant wall, with pay phones on one side, the bathrooms on the other. Bar Stools lining it. There was a stage on the far wall, with...Niki didn’t want to look at the dancing poles that young men were currently grinding on. There were groups of tables and chairs on the back half toward the entrance, but only standing space toward the front. 

Niki led James toward a booth in the corner. His nose curling at the smell of tobacco, alcohol, and sweat. They walked over to the booth both sitting down. James looking over at the bar itself, before gesturing over to Niki. 

“What do you want? I’m buying.” James states, making Niki look scandalized. 

“We’re working, you can’t drink! What if something happens?” Niki whispers.

“Niki, it’s going to look really suspicious if you are at a club, and don’t order anything to drink. Then it screams that we’re not here to have fun. You can probably get something virgin here, just tell me what you want.” James whispered back.

“I don’t know. Just whatever I guess, but without alcohol.”

“Fine, I’ll be right back. Oh and we have to look like we’re dating so let me give you a kiss.”

“What?”

“Niki we’re at a gay club, we need to act gay. Kiss me you stud.” 

“But I’ve never kissed a man before! I’m not sure I know how! 

“I’ll teach you baby.” 

\-------------------

“James! What are you doing?” Niki yells, making James jump, not knowing that Niki had been behind him. 

“Uh! Nothing! Just typing some one-liners for race commenting! They’re a secret.” James scrambles to cover the screen.

“You were writing a story about us. We were cops under-cover in a gay bar...What were you planning to do with that?” Niki asks, his hands on James’s shoulder, his head beside James’s.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about! I don’t write fan fiction!”

“I never said anything about fan fiction. But you can’t deny you were writing. I’ve been behind you since you started. How long have you been writing about us?”

“Since I discovered we were shipped together on tumblr, and they wrote about us.” 

“You have to show me this now, you do realize that right?”

“Yes dear.”

**Author's Note:**

> Done for a story prompt on tumblr, where I am known as the "formulaoneautor" check me out!


End file.
